THE TAINT (2010)

In school, did you ever have friends that spent their time drawing detailed penis’ in their workbook? And whether it was the complete disregard for education or their own personal dignity - you found it funny. Well, if you gave those people a video camera and a handful of cash, you’d get, The Taint.

Is this a masterpiece? Short answer,  yes. If you don’t like penises however... It’s still yes, but it may be a huge violation to your senses. The rest of us can sit back and enjoy and enjoy being violated.

 It’s sick, it’s gross, there are penises and apparently it’s “misogynistic” (pretty big word for a woman.)  

The title, by some near miss is not referring to the space between the balls and bum, but rather a foreign chemical dumped into the water supply (more twists to cum.) This taint has created a utopian future where every man’s johnson is equal and on public display with the natural hatred of women now throbbing and enraged.

Said Epic Logo: Cosmic as fuck

Albino Fast Food Elvis Phil O' Ginny

We open with most epic production logo ever, then 2 pairs of tits, a vaginal POV shot, a bloodied cock... then we meet our protagonist, Cory Worthington Phil O’ Ginny (It’s Irish) being attacked by an incontinent hillbilly. [Cue 80’s synth credits sequence, Oh, I love it.]

From there, Phil meets Cassandra a woman recently widowed after popping her husband’s head like a paper bag, she’s rather hardcore.

Meanwhile, Phil is being attacked by his school gym teacher and his homo-erotic Yakusa squad - who worship the gym teachers fist , yep.

The film from there is mainly a series of flashbacks, misadventures, back-story and fire hydrant ejaculating  cocks (Note: half the budget was probably used on milk). I don’t want to spoil everything – just enough to arouse interest. A word of warning you may want a accepting stomach to swallow this load with ease.